I've been back from Ecuador 3 months
now. Each 30-day period, I find myself reflecting on new ideas,
discoveries, and improvements. I'm taking baby steps, but I can work
with the slow-and-steady approach.
I'm working and I'm enjoying it. I'm
meeting new people, and I'm enjoying that even more. Which brings me
back to the socialization thing. It's not always easy to emerge from
that comforting pace of life that feels so safe and stable. I
understand that. It was much easier to curl up in my bed and keep
company with books than to investigate and explore who and what is
out there in the world. Well, there's the good, the bad, and the
ugly. I'll be exposed to all of that. Yet, I've got a good head on my
shoulders, a core group of friends who love me, and a God who loves
me even more, so I know I'm going to be okay if I step out into the
world and try this whole living thing.
I met a new friend this past weekend.
I never would've met him if I stayed huddled up in my room all day.
However, I took a chance, made the leap, and realized that there are
decent people out there who share my values. I think that's one of
the great things about humans; we are the same, yet different. We all
know what fear feels like...and love, hope, pain, sorrow, happiness.
We have interests that differ from each other, but we all understand
what a smile means, we can sense when someone is in distress or feels
anger. We can navigate some pretty intense situations! It's
amazing! (If you're Eileen or Lynne, you get this phrase.)
So this new friend is great. He's a
rare breed of human as well. No, he's got 2 eyes and his nose and
mouth are in the proper places. He has no missing limbs either. What
he does have is an actual family unit. I know I'm not alone in the
fact that I haven't had a sit-down family dinner in ages, or that the
parent who lives with me takes little interest in what I'm doing. And
I'm not complaining about it; it is what it is. (Is this why I don't
want kids?! That's for another time...)
Anyway, hearing my friend talk about
his family got me thinking about “family” in the United States.
In a society that rewards efficient schedules, no free time, and
grab-and-go meals, and of course INDIVIDUALITY, is it no wonder that
family has taken on a somewhat new meaning? I live with a father and
a sister, but we're more like residents in a boarding house than a
unit. I remember being so touched by the solidarity of families in
Ecuador. People make it a point to sit down with each other and chat
about the day's events. They cook with each other and savor the meal
together, taking their time instead of rushing through it to get to
football practice, or worse-watching it in front of a television
while ignoring their relatives.
When you see someone you know across
the street, in Ecuador it is very rude to simply nod hello or wave.
You cross the street, kiss the person, and spend at least 5 minutes
talking about their family and how they're doing. At first, this
seemed like an awful lot of work, but I came to really enjoy it. I
felt human again! My robotic sensibilities were melting away! It was
OKAY to put down what I was doing and take interest in another human
being. The world was not going to stop spinning if I tried something
new and different. Actually, the world sped up and I enjoyed a nice
ride. It wasn't me against the world.
These are things I think about as I
end September 2014. Last year I was in South America, trying to be a
teacher, traversing a land previously unknown. This year, I'm
wandering about a land I thought I knew, and realizing there is so
much more out there.
Kaitlin - I love reading your posts. It gives me insight into the wonderful woman you have become.
ReplyDeleteYour comments about family dinners brought back great memories. We always had dinner together as a family growing up. Pop would put on Herb Alpert albums or classical music while we dined. Even in the chaos that is 21st century life with young children, we try to eat together as a family most nights of the week. Sometimes it is not until 8:30 PM, but I treasure that time.
I regret that I have not taken the time to know you and your sisters better. We have strange family dynamics as you know, but I have learned that all families have their idiosynchrocies. When Grammie was in the hospital those last weeks of her life, it was the first time all 5 of us children had been together since Poppie died. We sat in that room for hours together reminiscing and laughing and crying. I know Gram could hear every word, and I hope it brought her comfort in her last moments on Earth.
Although we do not know each other well, we are family. You are always in my heart.
Much love,
Aunt Carol