Monday, September 15, 2014

Normal, Not Normal, Who Cares?

“Are you coming over today?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Good. It's feels normal when you come over.”

“I'm normal?”

“Having you in the house is normal now.”

Essentially, there is no 'normal.' Maybe there is an average, or a dominating trend in society, but who decided what is 'normal' and what is 'not normal?' Being someone who has been called 'not normal' for most of my life, I take pride in the fact that I tend to go against the norm. (Hey, look! My face isn't buried in an electronic device permanently attached to my palm!)

Getting back to the conversation above, it was between my sister's boyfriend and me. Having this 22-year-old male passing out in a food coma on our couch or discussing race cars and football in his booming voice with my dad gives me this strange feeling of comfort. Wow, someone outside the realm of my sister, my dad, and me can function in our house?! I am constantly bogged down by the insecurity that our house has this gross musty smell infesting the carpet that's older than me, and the dirt encrusted in random objects that no one bothered to clean is less-than-appealing. Even I found the house repulsive when I returned from a year away.

Yet, finally, it's not just Dad, Sister, Me. Dad, who goes to work all day and disappears on weekends to shoot pool. Sister, who is either at class, at work, and will act as if communication would kill her. And me, who works from home, finds refuge in my bike, and wonders how long I'll be living here.

Enter Sister's Boyfriend. Male. Talks of sports, cars, and can eat more than I thought humanly possible. Sister's Boyfriend, for whom I keep a bottle of TUMS in the cabinet. Sister's Boyfriend, who bought me waffles at 1am when I was having one of those nights. Sister's Boyfriend, who makes me feel like an actual person, not 'the sister, so I have to be nice her.' I believe he's my friend, and a gateway to spending more time with my sister.

I've come to terms with my family. There is no cookie-cutter family. No manual that says “Family does this at this time with this person in this place. They live here, and have this pet, and they name this pet this.” We live in our row home in Upper Darby; we make do with the neighbors who curse their kids out, and the death of the stray cat we tried to save. We are related by blood, but not interests. While it sucks to accept this, that's just what I'm doing. We are not all going to sit at the dinner table or hug each other. I love them, and they know that. And that's enough for them.

I've got to make it enough for me.

That's where Sister's Boyfriend comes in. And my other friends. I may not have loads of friends, but the ones I've got are pretty damn good. You can't choose your family, so choose your friends wisely. And even if all those friends just deserted me, guess what? I've got my Lord, who is the best friend you could ever imagine. So, I'm gonna be all right.


Still, it is nice to see a new face in the house. And even nicer when the new face decides to stay a while.  

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