Newfound Purpose

I feel...wonderful!

Lately, as this blog suggests, I've been uninspired, unmotivated, and frankly, just kind of lost in myself. It's been this feeling of being inert while still moving; just going through the motions, but mostly because I had to, because I knew I had to do something...

Very recently, I had a nice chat with a friend. This friend is fantastic, a person who embodies the most positive aspects of a human being...generous, compassionate, and encouraging, even in a grim situation. I am extremely thankful for this person!

Our talk was filled with all sorts of topics...idle chatter, deep thoughts, concerns for the future, but more important, the here and now. I like to focus on the present moment, but oh, isn't it so hard in a world where "we'll be happy when we do (fill-in-the-blank)"? When I graduate, retire, get a house, a job, a dog, etc. Why can't we be happy now?

We can!

Yet, so many of us are afraid to be happy. I seriously believe that. Some people are genuinely afraid to be happy. For, if we are happy, we must not be working hard enough, we must not be doing enough, we must be slacking off, right? How many times have you heard someone brag about how stressed out they are, how much work they have to do, how many sleepless nights they've had? Why are they boasting about this? I admire the person who takes a step back and acknowledges the successes they've had, but also, the struggles they've faced. Nobody dies with their inbox empty, you know...there will always be things to do, but the number-one priority should be our inner happiness and peace. One cannot take care of others if they first cannot take care of themselves.

The chat I had with my friend also got me reinvigorated in terms of my artwork. I had a few ideas written down for sketches I wanted to do, but I was having so much trouble getting motivated to actually sketch. After our conversation, I got so amped up, I immediately got to work on a sketch, and I am now transitioning it into a complete drawing. And, my friend (who shall remained unnamed for now, since I did not ask permission) deserves credit for giving me the idea of how to approach my idea. Awesome subject matter, kind of trippy, too. Working on this piece has rekindled that artistic fire in me, and I hope to keep it lit!

On another note, Thursday was an eventful day, and I am hoping it has a happy ending, as that is still pending. My mom and I took the MegaBus to NYC (yay, day trip!). The purpose of our travel was actually very important; I was heading to the Ecuadorian Embassy to apply for a Cultural Exchange Visa, which would permit me to live in Cuenca, Ecuador for a year.

I have accepted a job as an English teacher at the CEDEI (Center for Inter-American Studies) in Cuenca, Ecuador for one year. I am crossing my fingers tightly that my visa application is approved. I really see no reason why it shouldn't; I had all of the necessary documents (no criminal history, clean bill of health, the documentation from the school, passport photos, application form, the cash payment, my passport); all that's left to do is wait. Argh!

Being "loca" me, I realized I forgot my passport as my mom and I were riding the el into Center City. Lucky for us, I discovered this at our second stop, so we hopped off, and my dad came to the rescue by driving my passport to the station we were at. After scolding me, of course. Heh heh.

We did have a mini-scuffle when we arrived at the Embassy...my mom got pretty upset that we had to wait even longer after sitting in the office for my named to be called, just so I could hand in my application. We were told I would have to wait 24 hours, and come back to the office to pick up my visa (if approved). As we don't live in New York City, this would require another day trip. Bad news: another MegaBus ticket and 2 1/2 hour bus ride to NYC. Good news: another chance to make a day of being in NYC! Let's always look at the bright side...

I'm not even going to really think about if I don't get my visa application approved. I honestly see no reason why I shouldn't. Everything was there! I will be arriving in Ecuador on September 1st, so we have until then to get this ball rolling...

...on a side note, the bus ride home was quite an adventure in itself. The MegaBus is a double-decker bus, and on the way to NYC, my mom and I sat upstairs. For the return trip, my mom suggested we sit on the bottom level. Not a problem, although I thought it was really fun sitting up high, but I didn't mind. So, we took our seats, and within ten minutes my mom was regretting it...some girl a few years younger than me with a strong British accent gabbed and gabbed the entire time...almost 3 hours, mind you. Worse yet, she was with her boyfriend (the two repeatedly sucked face loudly), and he was seated behind her, so she was basically facing my mom (who was sitting next to her across the aisle). Her talking was right in my mom's face, and while I had to resort to my iPod at times, my mom was stuck with this girl talking incessantly about nothing for hours. I offered my earphone to my mom a few times, but she declined. "At least I raised an intelligent daughter" she told me, as we laughed at how thick this girl was, as she couldn't pick up any of the hints that we dropped that maybe she should keep it down for the other passengers (most of who were alseep...curse me and my mom's inability to sleep in vehicles)! Still, it was rather funny, and we joked about it all night.

Overall, this trip was a nice getaway with my mom. Even though we are polar opposites on almost everything, I love her to death, seriously. This woman works hard nearly every day for her children. She fully supports me in all of my wild and crazy dreams, and even plans to visit me in Ecuador! Her first priority was always, still is, and always will be, her children. I feel this even when she's upset with me, which hasn't happened in a while, actually...she's the person I always turn to when I get myself into a pickle, or when I want to share a jar of pickles. Heh heh heh! So, spending the day with her was fabulous. We chatted on the bus rides, got through the red tape that is visa policy, and shared a nice Mediterranean lunch (quiche, Greek salad, and Baklava...we're so bourgeious, or as I say, boojie).

I'll be sure to update when I hear back from the Ecuadorian Embassy, so let's all hope for the best!

Nota: I journal daily, and one of the things I do is list one thing I am thankful for each day. As I beef up this blog (what a fitting saying for me), I am going to incorporate that practice into my blog posts. So, today I am thankful for my mother. I've said it before and I'll say it again; being a mother is a job that I just am not cut out for...I'm much too selfish.