Fake it Til You Make it

When you find yourself wallowing in your woes, it’s time to take a step back and give yourself a reality check and define what’s important. I need to filter out what my mind is telling me and focus on what the actual situation is. Let’s see…

            My mind says: You should be with your family right now!

            Reality: That’s not possible, so send them your love via email, Facebook, or Skype. You’ll be home in December.

            My mind says: These student loans need to be deferred again…and, apparently I went delinquent in March. How nice. I’ll be stuck with this debt forever.

           Reality: Almost every college grad is in your shoes! Student debt is not the horrible credit-card kind of debt, so chill. And, you’re technically volunteering in Ecuador, so that might make your deferment have special circumstances. Note to self: call loan company and explain that to them. Also, you’re 23-years-old. You will get rid of your loans. For now, you are going to enjoy your time in South America.

            My mind says: I have to eventually go back to the States and get a “job” job. OH NO!!!

           Reality: Focus on where you are right now. Did you know you’d be in Ecuador teaching English 2 years ago? No. So do you really want to fret about where you’re going to be in 2 years? Not really!

            My mind says: I’M SO EFFING HOMESICK.

           Reality: That’s totally normal. Sorry you feel that way, but you need to deal with that. At least the Internet exists! Instead of focusing on how much you miss people, why don’t you focus on how awesome Ecuador is?

Some cruddy things have been happening, but that’s LIFE. How many people my age can say they’re experiencing something new every day? I mean, in Philadelphia, I could be doing that, but it’s more exciting here! I think my generation has been trained to always think about the future. “What about your future?!?!” Well guess what: the future is not guaranteed, but today is. So make today worth it.

Everyone has bad days. Or weeks. But there is always someone worse off than you! For real.

Some positive thoughts:

               -Teaching is fun! I surprised myself by discovering that my favorite class this cycle is my 101 class of 3 students, aged 11 and 12. I have a blast with them every class. They get a kick out of the English phrase ‘silly goose.’

            -My long-lost sister got in touch with me! Well, not long-lost, but communication between us was just about non-existent. She would like to visit me here soon! Fingers crossed.

            -Today is Ecuador’s Labor Day. NO SCHOOL!

            -I’m in Ecuador.

             -I’m realizing my love of writing. I’ve been scribbling things like crazy these past couple of weeks. This is something I’d like to expand on, job-wise.

Some reflections on Ecuador:

              -Safety does not exist. I saw a mother driving a car with her 3-year-old in her lap, steering the car. This week has also been very treacherous for bike riding. Glad I bought a helmet.

            -The wealth gap is huge here. My students are mostly privileged Cuencanos (although most of them have very good attitudes.) Today, I got approached by a handful of young boys in dirty clothes and with grimy faces, trying to sell me gum or shine my shoes (despite my shoes being worn-out canvas.)

           -The rainy season in Cuenca is in full swing. Glad I bought a rainsuit.

            -They love parades here. For anything.

           -Say goodbye to your Corn Flakes. Imported food products are being banned here for the next 12 months. That’s okay; most of my food comes from the mercados.

            -Toilets flush the other way here.